And I thought I was having a bad day....

I couldn't sleep last night. I was tossing and turning, trying to figure out what I was mad at. I didn't want to go to bed angry... I was so fed up with myself and didn't know what it was. Was it me? Casey? Our marriage? Money? Loneliness? Am I just that tired? My relationship with God? ...Yes ..the last one. Where am I going or what am I doing with my life? I can't answer that all the time. And it really bothers me. On the side of my blog I wrote how I'm a Christian and realize over and over I can't do life on my own. This is one of those times I need to realize that again. God has a purpose for me.

I read this passage this morning, and I realized all the blessings I have, and was brought back to the Cross and what "it's all about". Cause I'm sick of caring about what the world tells me "it's all about".

(this is kind of long, but if you have time to check my blog, you can read this too. I want to share this)

Isaiah 52:13-15 through chapter 53
Passage title is The Suffering and Glory of the Servant (meaning Jesus)

"See, my servant will act wisely;

he will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted.

Just as there were many who appalled at him -

his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man

and his form marred beyond human likeness -

so will he sprinkle many nations,

and kings will shut their mouths because of him.

For what they were not told, they will see,

and what they have not heard, they will understand.

Who has believed our message

and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

He grew up before him like a tender shoot,

and like a root out of dry ground.

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,

nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men,

a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.

Like one from whom men hide their faces

he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities

and carried our sorrows,

yet we considered him stricken by God,

smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,

he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,

and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,

each of us has turned to his own way;

and the Lord has laid on him 

the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,

yet he did not open his mouth;

he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,

and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,

so he did not open his mouth.

By oppression and judgement he was taken away.

And who can speak of his descendants?

For he was cut off from the land of the living;

for the transgression of my people he was stricken.

He was assigned a grave with the wicked,

and with the rich in his death,

though he had done no violence,

nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the Lord's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,

and though the Lord makes his life a guilt offering,

he will see his offspring and prolong his days,

and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.

After the suffering of his soul,

he will see the light of life, and be satisfied;

by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,

and he will bear their iniquities.

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,

and he will divide the spoils with the strong,

because he poured out his life unto death,

and was numbered with the transgressors.

For he bore the sin of many,

and made intercession for the transgressors."

It's not about me. That's what it's about. 

Yes, I thought I was having a bad day.... well I was, but after seeing what is all in front of me, how can I? Why would someone do all that for me??? Why? I don't understand why God loves us.... or me, but he does, and has a PURPOSE for me.

So I'm going to live life for Him, and stop worrying about everyone and everything else.