Graham's Birth Story

The day I had Graham, I left the house to get groceries around 9:00 in the morning. I remember I didn't feel like getting dressed and couldn't find much that fit me anymore. I wore Casey's long john shirt and squeezed one more time into my maternity skinny jeans. I was 39 weeks 5 days pregnant.

I snapped this photo for Instagram that day :)




























The day before,  I had my check up with my midwife, Brande. We talked and wondered about when the baby would come. I could feel it was soon, just didn't know when! My midwife's birth assistant, Malory, had just gotten back from vacation that week. I really wanted Malory here because she had been at Josey's birth. I couldn't picture having a baby without either of them :)


Good thing Malory came back! Because the next day, as soon I was done unloading groceries, my water broke. I had gone upstairs to use the bathroom and put my comfortable yoga pants back on, as I was pushing and pulling to get out of my skinny jeans and hurry to go pee, a gush of water came out. I didn't know if I had peed my pants or if this was really it. I called my Mom and asked her if I was nuts, because I really could have just peed my pants! Soon after, more like 30 seconds, I was sure it was my water. I got off the phone and left my midwife a text and voicemail. She soon got back to me and made preparations to be on her way to my house when I needed her. I tried calling Casey a few times to let him know labor had started. He was ice fishing with Grandpa and his phone was dead. So I left him a goofy "Hey! My water broke!" message. He got back to me about 15-20 minutes later and came home right away. My mother-in-law, Kathy, wanted to be here when the baby was born so I let her know and she was immediately on her way to be here with us. So everyone was notified and on track to being here!

My labor had hardly started yet... Josey and I played in her room a bit and I started packing her a little bag. She was pretty hyper cause she could feel the excitement/anticipation in the room. Soon after Casey came home my sister in law came over to pick Josey up. It was around then that I started feeling labor a bit more I think around 4:00PM.

Around 6 I had talked to my midwife again and told her to be here around 8:00PM cause I felt like it'd be a bit longer until stuff really got going. By the time Brande and Malory came I was at the stage that I call "Not Smiling". I could still move around, walk, talk and stuff but had to stop and concentrate on each contraction as it came. Everyone had been there for about an hour or so when I decided to go upstairs with Casey. About maybe 2 contractions after I had gone upstairs things got intense. It was like the quiet of my room and comfort of my bed really kicked things in. I asked for Casey to get Brande to check me cause I had had a few really strong contractions that did a lot of work. Once they came up to check me, I told them I changed my mind and didn't want to be checked. (indecisive much?) I knew things had really started working, but decided that I didn't want to know how far I had to go. I didn't want to measure how long it was taking or be discouraged. I mean, labor was going! Kicking right in and becoming intense. But I knew I wasn't at the end yet.

After working around my bed, on the yoga ball, and moving around a whole lot Brande suggested a warm shower. I went into the shower with the yoga ball to lean on for support. The hot water running over my back felt SO good. And the water was distracting from the contractions that were beginning to grab my entire body. I started crying a bit and started to really go deep into prayer. I kept asking Jesus to be there with me and to help my body do what He had made it to do, and to hold me and the baby in His arms. There were also some more intense prayers of me asking God to just let the baby come already, no matter how bad, just let the baby come out!

Once I got out of the shower I don't remember too much. I did a lot of moving around from the bed to the bathroom, to the ball, to rocking on my hands and knees. I am the type where I don't really want to be talked to that much when I'm in labor or to hear noises of phones. I want to fully concentrate on each contraction. I also mostly want to be alone, but not FEEL alone at the same time. I told my mother in law that she had to be quiet and I was serious, haha. It's funny now, but I couldn't laugh anymore at the time, her intent was to lighten the mood. Poor Kathy! My husband did a bit of counter pressure with his fists on my back during contractions, which helps so much! He also played poker on his phone next to me, I think it's just him not knowing what to do, kind of like a nervous activity... being present next to me but still in the background at the same time. But his phone HAD to be quiet. With my contractions I work on relaxing my shoulders, leaving my mouth open a bit with my jaw loose, exhaling slowly. Words I read in an Ina May Gaskin book ran through my head "Open like a budding rose flower, layer by layer.", and words about her sphincter law "Stay loose, don't tighten up." I tried to welcome each contraction, this was one down, this was progress, let it do its work. I'm not totally perfect at this. I would tighten up with pain during some contractions and could tell a difference in my progress. Your body progresses much better when you're relaxed. Moving around a lot helps too. It's like your searching for a comfy spot. I said out loud a lot "I need to move", "This isn't working right now", or "I don't know WHAT I want". I remember one time saying "What do I do!?!" when I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I got really frustrated with the yoga ball a few times and pushed it angrily across the room, then later I would wonder where it went. Haha. Throughout this labor until the end my contractions were about 5 minutes apart. Which was frustrating for me because I wanted it to go, yet this was also kind of nice because I got a long break between contractions for rest.

After a bit I could start to feel I was almost there! Late into labor there was a small stall in contractions. My midwife helped me push against my cervix because there was a little that the baby had a hard time moving his head past. We worked through that for what felt like a long time and once the babies head was past, Brande told me "You're ready to go! The baby is ready to be here! You can push when you feel ready!" Oh, sweet wonderful words to hear in labor! I still had a little sense of humor and sarcastically asked Brande if that meant I was fully dilated. Since I hadn't wanted to be checked for progress throughout labor. I moved to my bed maybe had two to three more contractions and started pushing. I remember saying out loud to myself "I can do this!" In my head I was still in constant prayer. I don't even know what I was really praying, but just felt God's presence with me. Brande and Malory had me come onto the birth stool when the baby was close to being here. Right before Graham was born Brande placed my hand on his head. This is something that I never really would say that I wanted to do, but it helped SO much! There is a reason people do this. It was like something clicked in my body and head. I pushed a few more times and my sweet baby was here!

Hallelujah! I did it! I said so happy aloud "I DID IT!" Then I immediately said "That wasn't so bad!" Haha. Ten minutes prior I would have had a very different opinion! My sweet baby was placed on my chest and the announcement was made that "It's a BOY!!!" Oh, what a joy! My mother in law said that Casey did a little fist pump when Brande said boy. We didn't care if it was a boy or girl and would have had just as much joy with a girl, yet it was fun to find we now had a little girl AND a little boy :) We had decided on the name Graham for our son. We hadn't really talked about a middle name too much, but we decided on Carl, after Casey's late Grandpa Carl Hamann. Casey's other Grandpa had an older brother named Carl as well, so it was a good family name.

I remember right after Graham was born he pretty much lifted his head on his own and made eye contact with me. This is the sweetest memory, it almost brings tears to my eyes. Right after I had Josey she did the same, just calmly making eye contact with me almost like sweetly saying "Hello my Mommy! I'm here!". What a gift! I think it's so precious that both of them did this. I also love seeing Casey hold his babies for the first time. It's so sweet. He has taken his shirt off both times for skin to skin and he just cuddles his babies up in his big arms, brings them close, and says hi.

This time, I was at home. Right where I wanted to be :) Graham nursed almost right off the bat. After everything was finished and calmed down, I had something to eat, stared in wonder at my new little love, then curled up around Graham with Casey next to me and we went to sleep.

Graham Carl McCausland

2:21AM January 26, 2013

8lbs, 21inches long

Happy to have you here buddy :)

5, 6, Pick Up Sticks

Yesterday it was so nice and warm!

So warm, that there were a few lawnmowers and weed wackers heard around the neighborhood. As my husband and I were sitting outside, we were forced to look at how our yard came through the winter. The lot our house is on has about 20 to many pine trees, and there were branches scattered all through the yard. So, we got Josey's pink John Deer wagon out and picked up sticks.

Josey joined in the fun with the most adorable shorts on. We loved to see her cute legs!

Josey loves to be outside! She spends a lot of her time kicking through the dirt and shouting "Hi" at any jogger or car that goes by.

In between loads of sticks, Josey got to ride in the wagon. She did get a little scrape on her knee, but she smiled through that whole episode.

Josey loves to be outside! Absolutely loves it. So much, that it is always really embarrassing to take her inside. It sounds like she's getting tortured! Kicking and screaming and her face is a few shades past the point of red. I calmed Josey down with her next favorite thing which is taking a bath. This summer I see a lot of hours playing outside digging around in the dirt, stroller rides, bike rides, and lots of trips to the town pool. I can't wait!

Playing in the Snow

Our one and only snow, that actually stuck, was a few weeks ago. It has been a really mild winter here compared to last year!

We wanted to take Josey out to play in the snow. It took longer to put all her snow gear on than she was actually outside :) But, we had fun!

Josey was so excited to see everything white!

And, as you can see she dove right in! :)

Aw! My little girl!!

Josey's little trail is so cute! She actually walked most of the way to that spot.

After rolling around for a bit trying to get up, Daddy came to the rescue!

Josey needed to be rescued again, she wasn't liking to learn how cold snow is on your fingers. She had originally started with gloves, but they came off as soon as we went outside. That's how it goes..

Josey and me!

I loved seeing her little boots next to ours after we came in. Funny little side note: I bought these baby boots right before Casey and I got married. I knew how much Casey likes hunting and thought they were appropriate. It's crazy to see them being used now :)

Jamaica Mon

We went to Jamaica for our honeymoon the first week of January. We will be married 3 years in March, so I don't know if you call it a vacation or honeymoon, but that's besides the point... Casey and I went away and did NOTHING for 5 days. It was awesome!

If you are curious, we went to an all inclusive resort called Couples Sans Souci, in Ocho Rios Jamaica. I would definitely recommend this resort! Everything is included in the price, even room service! The food was awesome too!

View from our room. This picture does not do it justice! We were over looking lush gardens and just beyond that was a "cliff", for lack of a better word, to the ocean. 

This is the same tower from the picture above. The water was right next to me :)

Gorgeous!

The one and only picture of ourselves, of course.

Beach Time. You put up a flag for your next drink. Awesome, huh?

Got my toes done, much better ;-)

It was cloudy on and off throughout our stay, but it didn't both us at all, the temperature was low 80s the whole time, and the clouds kept Casey on the beach longer :)

Loved everything about our trip!

And now I'm home with my baby again!!!!

Casey's Birthday

May I start this post by showing you how adorable Casey was as a child... 

..Well, still is in my book of course!

For Casey's birthday I made Carrot Cake Cupcakes!

Recipe via Pioneer Woman. (Click here for recipe) A place to find good recipes when you can't get a hold of your Mom or your Mother-in-Law. (ahem, Kathy C)

Mmm! 

These cupcakes are so tasty, Casey ate four! And he really would've appreciated it if I didn't put candles on his cupcake, or take his picture.. Hmm

Josey giving her Dad some birthday love this morning before he left.

On the Birthday Dinner Menu is:

Baked Chicken Thighs, using the spices from my "The WHOLE Chicken" recipe. (Click Here)

Baked Sweet Potatoes, with butter and brown sugar.

Frozen corn, ...cooked of course! Add some sugar to them while they're heating up.

and Sourdough Bread not made by me, but I would like to some day.

 I Love you Casey! Happy Birthday!

Beginning of Harvest

Harvest Photos

Casey taking a break one morning with Josey. She's learning to have a good eye for the best tractors! 

Casey cleaning off the combine with the blower. That job is especially fun on a windy day.

One of the tractors, John Deere is the way to go around here! That yellow pipe you see is loading the corn way up into the grain bin. Where corn is dried to the correct moisture then trucked into town. 

Casey seeing if Josey wants to climb up the grain bin for him. She wasn't so sure...

(I couldn't upload these next photo's any bigger)

One day we went on a little family ride in the combine. It was Josey's first time! She watched quietly with really wide eyes at what was going on. Josey seemed to like it in the end!

Josey hanging out by the old Mack farm truck.

Little scrunched nose face!

Sitting with Grandpa Ray! You can't tell he likes Josey at all, huh? :) Grandpa Ray just loves her! She's pretty much got him wrapped around her little finger.

Everything has been going decently well with harvest so far. (Yay!) Casey's still going back and forth to college in between everything. Josey and I have been holding down the fort at home, with occasional trips back and forth to the working men. Josey is getting about 3 more teeth at the same time, which is great fun (NOT). Poor baby! I've also had some awesome girlfriends visit this past week. It was great to catch up and have some girl time. Fall is our favorite time of year! I can't wait for all the gorgeous colors, baking pumpkin bread, making soup, and bundling up!

Family Thoughts and Family Fun

The past week has flown by! We have been busy, and will start to get more and more busy in the weeks to come.

Harvest is on it's way! We might start next week. I don't think I will see Casey for awhile. He's going to school full time and will be spending every extra second he has in the fields. I feel like we are holding our breath. There is a lot of excitement, expectation, and unanswered questions hanging in the air. We've been watching the grain markets and weather all through the past season, the roller-coaster of prices up and down, the weather from dry, to wet, or windy. It's a weird feeling to have SO much put into the fields, and all the outcome is mostly out of our control. We just have to be patient. It really is not in our hands, it's in God's. Thank goodness for that! Because I (we) would be a nervous wreck. Farming has certainly stretched our faith in many ways. This time of year is interesting for us! I know Casey and his Grandpa are just itching to get in the fields!

We spent Labor Day weekend in St. Louis, with Casey's Dad and his wife. It was nice to get away and have a break before the craziness of harvest starts. We went biking while we were there. The men went on the technical mountain trails, while us girls went on the paved route. Josey was happy to ride in her little bike trailer. She is so cute and tiny in there! We put her boppy pillow behind her to make it more comfortable with all the straps. She talked to herself and looked out her little windows the whole time. I must add, that all this happy baby bike-trailerness was a slow weight that creeped up on me! And, I was happy to accept Tina's offer to switch bikes halfway through. I felt very out of shape. Ha! There was also a white haired, mustached, elderly gentleman that passed us a few times, which added to me feeling more out of shape. We really enjoy biking, and have to find some local trails we can go on. It's a really fun family activity!

As summer fades into fall. We are looking forward to cooled of weather, a change of pace, harvest, the gorgeous colors of the trees, baking, and of course hunting season!

I am going to try to make it a point to capture as much as I can on camera!

Compromise and a Baby Crawler

The award for 'Quickest Man to Stop Smoking' goes to my husband Casey!

Casey has been wanting a dirt bike for a long time.

Casey has been smoking a long time.

This little evening viewing of dirt bikes for sale had gone on for MONTHS! After the millionth online viewing and me saying "NOOOO!", and Casey saying "PLEEEASE!". I told him that it could be a "yes" from me if he quit smoking. Cause the dirt bike is much cheaper!! Casey happily agreed and within a week and a half there is a dirt bike in our garage! Why didn't we think of this sooner?

For you who want to know what kind of dirt bike this is it's a 2010 Gas Gas XC 250. Also known as "The Conquistador", which is Spanish for "beat KTM". (not literally translated that way) Casey is adamant that you call the bike "The Conquistador".

Washing it off after the first ride

Awe! Look how happy he is!!!

In other news we have a crawler! Well... kinda. She does this crazy army crawl thing but she is getting everywhere! And getting into everything! Josey is starting to learn what no means. She has such big feelings. She bawls her eyes out, ducks her head and wont look at you when you get after her. Soo sad!

Here's a clip of Josey's crawl! I think I sound retarded, but nevermind.

Casey's First Father's Day

I am so excited for Casey on his first Father's Day! He is a great Dad to Josey.

There is so many things he wants to teach her! He can't wait to get her on her first dirt bike, teach her to fish, hunt, and be a tough little girl! While we were looking at baby names we loved to see Josey spelt the way it is, so she could have s-e-y at the end of her name like Casey.

Josey always lights up when Casey gets home. There is a lot of extra squealing and giggling for Daddy. She looks at him with such big bright eyes! Josey shows off her tricks she's been practicing all day and her whole face is saying, "Look at me!! Look at me Dad!", while she's bouncing around.

Josey has many similarities to Casey, in looks and personality. We so look forward to seeing what she'll be like, and do in life. I know Casey is so proud to be Josey's Dad, and looks forward to his first Father's Day!

The "work week" of labor :)

Yes it's true. I joke that it takes a work week to have a McCausland baby. And yes, I can say it with a smile. :) I want to write an account of it more for myself, because the memory is already fading..

Labor started on December 12 around midnight. My sister Krista had put in a special request that the baby be born on her birthday the 13th, so I was excited that they could share when I got out of bed and looked at the clock. I walked around the dining room table and started counting/timing contractions, they weren't bad at all and not that close together.

Soon things started kicking in a bit more and I went to wake up my Mom around 2. My Mom was sooo excited and told me that her and my Dad had prayed before she came out of bed. I like that :) So I just kept walking around the dining room and would let Mom know when each contraction came and went. We called my midwife, Brande, around 3:30-4:00 I think because I was 5-7 minutes apart. Yay! So exciting! She told us to see how things went for around an hour to make sure it was real labor, and my Mom and I sat in the kitchen and chatted, drinking tea.

Casey got up for work around 5:00, I hadn't told him I was in labor yet, he was SO excited! He started walking around all antsy, tapping his legs, and decided he wanted to watch hard rock music videos right next to me to calm himself down. haha! Which he had to turn off VERY quickly after that. I think he just walked around antsy for awhile again, and decided to watch tv in the other room.

Brande came to the house soon after. Around 7 or 8 I think. (I stopped looking at the clock after Casey got up, because I didn't want to expect to much, or feel rushed) Labor really kicked in within the next few hours to where I wasn't walking or talking to much at all during a contraction. I had started to get back labor as well. Brande's helper/nurse came within a few hours after that, Malory, she was also a doula, and knew exactly where to put counter-pressure on my back to relieve some of the pain. LAAA! I loved that. So most contractions after that, I would ask for someone to press on my back. The day went on for a bit and I felt like we were making good headway, but by the afternoon one time when they checked me Josey had turned to the side, and I had gone backwards in labor. From a 7 back to 5 I think.

After that I pretty much lost sense of time... so there's not much detail in the story here. So the rest of the day was spent rocking back and forth on my hands and knees, walking stairs, and on the labor ball to try to turn her. I would make progress and then go back, then make progress and go back again. Josey was moving her head all over sideways, straight, sunnyside-up ...everything. That was that evening into early the next morning. I could see everyone start to get a bit concerned, and then really excited each time we went back and forth in labor. I was just concentrating, and really focused on each contraction. Praying... :) I knew I was close, so I didn't get upset or desperate. Josey's heartbeat was really consistent and there were no signs of distress at all.

Early Tuesday morning I was checked, had retracted again, and Josey's eye was open looking out. She had moved herself to coming face first! After that Brande called the OB that she works with, and we made preparations to go to the hospital. The fact the I had gone back in labor again, Josey's position, and how long it was taking were why we went. I had told everyone that I was DONE as well. I wasn't sad about not having the baby at home. Something we decided very soon after we found out we were pregnant... and something I have always wanted. Everyone was rushing around to leave, grabbing everything and packing the cars up. Then I got in the car (BLEH)... and the car wouldn't start! So we started packing everything into Malory's car, and realized she had a flat tire! Casey and Dad raced up to the farm filled the tire, and brought it back so I could get in (BLEH again, just imagine doing that in hard labor folks) The hospital was 40 minutes away and by the time I put my seatbelt on (BLEH) we couldn't get there soon enough! I was in the front seat and it was snowy/icy out. One side note during our drive there I made sure to remember the car was a Pontiac Vibe so that I would never ride in one again.

Once we got to the hospital Casey's family was there. I remember being wheeled in, was happy to see them, but told everyone that I wasn't going to talk :) Went through the check-in stuff which felt like forever. They asked if I wanted an epidural and I said "This totally goes against my grain, but YEEES!!" Then we were off to the delivery room. I was supposed to be in there for just a little bit while they were getting a C-Section prepared. I had to wait for the epidural because there were 2 ladies we had to wait for. During that time they gave me medicine through the IV to hold me over. After a little bit the nurse looked at me and said "HEY! Was that pushing?? You can't push yet!" I didn't really know that I was pushing, but breathed through the next few. The nurse had to leave for a few minutes and told Casey and my Mom if I pushed to call her. She was gone for just a bit and Casey had to call her back in! I was checked again and Josey's head was straight and everything was ready to go! After that the crew was rushed in so we could have the baby! After that I HAD the baby... no extra explanation needed. Just a few comments I remember... one of the nurses had said "Ooooh your doing so good! That epidural feels good huh?" I never got one... Josey came before the medicine man :) . I remember my Mom one time saying "OOOH TARA!" because Josey was almost here, shortly after that Casey said "Is it supposed to look like that?" kinda quiet next to me. haha!

When Josey was born and they laid her on me announcing "IT'S A GIRL!!!" That was the best thing! I loved waiting for that moment! She was so calm and just looked at me kinda quiet like "Hi!" We were sooo happy! The relief that it was over! OOOH SO HAPPY!!! I didn't care about what it took to get her here, and still don't. If every labor for every child was 38 hours, with 26 hours of hard labor, I would do that, and more for each of my children!

What a blessing! What an answer to prayer!

First Family Picture

Papa & Mom Visit

Made this blog and haven't touched it!! Oh well...

Some awesome things have happened in the past few months! I'm going to have to make a few posts out of the highlights and get back into doing this blog.

My parents came to visit for 10 days, which was so exciting for me, it was so nice to see them! Got to show them all around the farm and the Illinois countryside! There is something just so comforting in having your mom in your kitchen talking and cooking with you, and sitting on the porch in the morning with everyone watching the day begin. And Papa.... well, he got to go hunting and fishing and do all sorts of 'man things' with Casey. He was having the time of his life!

They were off to do their 'man things' and didn't really want a picture.. but stopped for a second to indulge me. Notice of course their matching shirts! Good times had by all!

On other more recent random notes... Summer has been flying by! This pregnancy has been going so fast to! I cannot wait to meet our little baby! Aaaand! I have gotten a great job at a local hair salon, working first as a receptionist/assistant, then will eventually be doing hair there! Woo hoo!