Graham's Birth Story

The day I had Graham, I left the house to get groceries around 9:00 in the morning. I remember I didn't feel like getting dressed and couldn't find much that fit me anymore. I wore Casey's long john shirt and squeezed one more time into my maternity skinny jeans. I was 39 weeks 5 days pregnant.

I snapped this photo for Instagram that day :)




























The day before,  I had my check up with my midwife, Brande. We talked and wondered about when the baby would come. I could feel it was soon, just didn't know when! My midwife's birth assistant, Malory, had just gotten back from vacation that week. I really wanted Malory here because she had been at Josey's birth. I couldn't picture having a baby without either of them :)


Good thing Malory came back! Because the next day, as soon I was done unloading groceries, my water broke. I had gone upstairs to use the bathroom and put my comfortable yoga pants back on, as I was pushing and pulling to get out of my skinny jeans and hurry to go pee, a gush of water came out. I didn't know if I had peed my pants or if this was really it. I called my Mom and asked her if I was nuts, because I really could have just peed my pants! Soon after, more like 30 seconds, I was sure it was my water. I got off the phone and left my midwife a text and voicemail. She soon got back to me and made preparations to be on her way to my house when I needed her. I tried calling Casey a few times to let him know labor had started. He was ice fishing with Grandpa and his phone was dead. So I left him a goofy "Hey! My water broke!" message. He got back to me about 15-20 minutes later and came home right away. My mother-in-law, Kathy, wanted to be here when the baby was born so I let her know and she was immediately on her way to be here with us. So everyone was notified and on track to being here!

My labor had hardly started yet... Josey and I played in her room a bit and I started packing her a little bag. She was pretty hyper cause she could feel the excitement/anticipation in the room. Soon after Casey came home my sister in law came over to pick Josey up. It was around then that I started feeling labor a bit more I think around 4:00PM.

Around 6 I had talked to my midwife again and told her to be here around 8:00PM cause I felt like it'd be a bit longer until stuff really got going. By the time Brande and Malory came I was at the stage that I call "Not Smiling". I could still move around, walk, talk and stuff but had to stop and concentrate on each contraction as it came. Everyone had been there for about an hour or so when I decided to go upstairs with Casey. About maybe 2 contractions after I had gone upstairs things got intense. It was like the quiet of my room and comfort of my bed really kicked things in. I asked for Casey to get Brande to check me cause I had had a few really strong contractions that did a lot of work. Once they came up to check me, I told them I changed my mind and didn't want to be checked. (indecisive much?) I knew things had really started working, but decided that I didn't want to know how far I had to go. I didn't want to measure how long it was taking or be discouraged. I mean, labor was going! Kicking right in and becoming intense. But I knew I wasn't at the end yet.

After working around my bed, on the yoga ball, and moving around a whole lot Brande suggested a warm shower. I went into the shower with the yoga ball to lean on for support. The hot water running over my back felt SO good. And the water was distracting from the contractions that were beginning to grab my entire body. I started crying a bit and started to really go deep into prayer. I kept asking Jesus to be there with me and to help my body do what He had made it to do, and to hold me and the baby in His arms. There were also some more intense prayers of me asking God to just let the baby come already, no matter how bad, just let the baby come out!

Once I got out of the shower I don't remember too much. I did a lot of moving around from the bed to the bathroom, to the ball, to rocking on my hands and knees. I am the type where I don't really want to be talked to that much when I'm in labor or to hear noises of phones. I want to fully concentrate on each contraction. I also mostly want to be alone, but not FEEL alone at the same time. I told my mother in law that she had to be quiet and I was serious, haha. It's funny now, but I couldn't laugh anymore at the time, her intent was to lighten the mood. Poor Kathy! My husband did a bit of counter pressure with his fists on my back during contractions, which helps so much! He also played poker on his phone next to me, I think it's just him not knowing what to do, kind of like a nervous activity... being present next to me but still in the background at the same time. But his phone HAD to be quiet. With my contractions I work on relaxing my shoulders, leaving my mouth open a bit with my jaw loose, exhaling slowly. Words I read in an Ina May Gaskin book ran through my head "Open like a budding rose flower, layer by layer.", and words about her sphincter law "Stay loose, don't tighten up." I tried to welcome each contraction, this was one down, this was progress, let it do its work. I'm not totally perfect at this. I would tighten up with pain during some contractions and could tell a difference in my progress. Your body progresses much better when you're relaxed. Moving around a lot helps too. It's like your searching for a comfy spot. I said out loud a lot "I need to move", "This isn't working right now", or "I don't know WHAT I want". I remember one time saying "What do I do!?!" when I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I got really frustrated with the yoga ball a few times and pushed it angrily across the room, then later I would wonder where it went. Haha. Throughout this labor until the end my contractions were about 5 minutes apart. Which was frustrating for me because I wanted it to go, yet this was also kind of nice because I got a long break between contractions for rest.

After a bit I could start to feel I was almost there! Late into labor there was a small stall in contractions. My midwife helped me push against my cervix because there was a little that the baby had a hard time moving his head past. We worked through that for what felt like a long time and once the babies head was past, Brande told me "You're ready to go! The baby is ready to be here! You can push when you feel ready!" Oh, sweet wonderful words to hear in labor! I still had a little sense of humor and sarcastically asked Brande if that meant I was fully dilated. Since I hadn't wanted to be checked for progress throughout labor. I moved to my bed maybe had two to three more contractions and started pushing. I remember saying out loud to myself "I can do this!" In my head I was still in constant prayer. I don't even know what I was really praying, but just felt God's presence with me. Brande and Malory had me come onto the birth stool when the baby was close to being here. Right before Graham was born Brande placed my hand on his head. This is something that I never really would say that I wanted to do, but it helped SO much! There is a reason people do this. It was like something clicked in my body and head. I pushed a few more times and my sweet baby was here!

Hallelujah! I did it! I said so happy aloud "I DID IT!" Then I immediately said "That wasn't so bad!" Haha. Ten minutes prior I would have had a very different opinion! My sweet baby was placed on my chest and the announcement was made that "It's a BOY!!!" Oh, what a joy! My mother in law said that Casey did a little fist pump when Brande said boy. We didn't care if it was a boy or girl and would have had just as much joy with a girl, yet it was fun to find we now had a little girl AND a little boy :) We had decided on the name Graham for our son. We hadn't really talked about a middle name too much, but we decided on Carl, after Casey's late Grandpa Carl Hamann. Casey's other Grandpa had an older brother named Carl as well, so it was a good family name.

I remember right after Graham was born he pretty much lifted his head on his own and made eye contact with me. This is the sweetest memory, it almost brings tears to my eyes. Right after I had Josey she did the same, just calmly making eye contact with me almost like sweetly saying "Hello my Mommy! I'm here!". What a gift! I think it's so precious that both of them did this. I also love seeing Casey hold his babies for the first time. It's so sweet. He has taken his shirt off both times for skin to skin and he just cuddles his babies up in his big arms, brings them close, and says hi.

This time, I was at home. Right where I wanted to be :) Graham nursed almost right off the bat. After everything was finished and calmed down, I had something to eat, stared in wonder at my new little love, then curled up around Graham with Casey next to me and we went to sleep.

Graham Carl McCausland

2:21AM January 26, 2013

8lbs, 21inches long

Happy to have you here buddy :)

Easter 2012

I thought I would share some verses/words about Easter. I couldn't choose just one. 

"Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.

 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus."

--Romans 6:8-11

"But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him."
-- Acts 2:24 NIV

"Now let the heavens be joyful,
Let earth her song begin:
Let the round world keep triumph,
And all that is therein;
Invisible and visible,
Their notes let all things blend,
For Christ the Lord is risen
Our joy that hath no end."
-- John of Damascus

 ( My sister in law took these pictures on Sunday. I love them! )

P.S. If you noticed..Yes, Josey will be a flower girl on 9-22-12!! We're excited!

We had a great Easter weekend. Dinner with Josey's Grandpa on Saturday night, and spending time with family in Quincy for Easter Sunday. This past weekend was full of family, laughter, and food!

Hope you and your families had a blessed Easter!

Beautiful- Phil Wickham

I really enjoy listening to this song, it's good thinking music.

So just put your feet up, relax, and listen to the words!

Here's the lyrics. I especially like the last verse :)

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say 
You’re beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It’s all proclaiming who You are
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful, you're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring 
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, I see Your face
I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

Christmas was here, FA LA LA LA!

We had a great Christmas weekend with lots of family! We go to see my husbands family in Quincy every year on Christmas Eve.

Then we had the McCausland Family Christmas at my house! Yahoo! It was my first time hosting Christmas. I had a good time doing it! We had so much amazing food! And we all had a great time together. Later that evening, we went over to the Green's house and ate again. Josey had a little pot belly that night. You could see it so pronounced through her one piece pajamas!

I didn't take too many pictures but I have a sweet one of Josey holding her new doll.

She was trying to put the little ribbon on the dolls head. Funny how she wants to do that to the doll, and I can't put anything on her head anymore. Also notice, there is only one shoe on Josey. Ha! Little girl!

Through all of the excitement and the "hoopla", let's all remember why we even have Christmas. We have been given the ultimate gift in Jesus coming, taking our sin, and placing it ALL on His own shoulders. For you, for me :) I hope you and your families had a Merry Christmas!

A Hymn

1. It Is Well with My Soul
   When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
   When sorrows like sea billows roll;
   Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
   It is well, it is well, with my soul.
   • Refrain:
     It is well, with my soul,
     It is well, it is well, with my soul.
2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
   Let this blest assurance control,
   That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
   And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
   My sin, not in part but the whole,
   Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
   Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
4. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
   If Jordan above me shall roll,
   No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
   Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
5. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
   The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
   Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
   Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
6. And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
   The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
   The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
   Even so, it is well with my soul.
   
   
   
   

   "It Is Well with My Soul" is a very influential hymn penned by hymnist Horatio Spafford and composed by Philip Bliss.

   
   

   This hymn was written after several traumatic events in Spafford’s life. The first was the death of his only son in 1871 at the age of four, shortly followed by the great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer). Then in 1873, he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the SS Ville du Havre, but sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business concerning zoning problems following the Great Chicago Fire. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sailing ship, the Loch Earn, and all four of Spafford's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone . . .". Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.

   
   

   Bliss called his tune Ville du Havre, from the name of the stricken vessel.

   
   

   The Spaffords later had three more children, one of whom (a son) died in infancy. In 1881 the Spaffords, including baby Bertha and newborn Grace, set sail for Israel. The Spaffords moved to Jerusalem and helped found a group called the American Colony; its mission was to serve the poor. The colony later became the subject of the Noble Prize winning Jerusalem, by Swedish novelist Selma Lageroff. (from wikipedia)

   
   

   In old and new sorrows, even in joy, this song is running through my head. The story of the writer, Spafford, is heartbreaking. I always like knowing the story behind hymns and songs. What a testimony this song is to so many people, including me. Sometimes it's hard to sing without crying, and other times I can sing it on the top of my lungs. 

   "Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, 

   It is well, it is well with my soul."

   
   

   Beautiful, beautiful, song! Have a great day!

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

Dog Days..

Hi!

I'm tired!

In many ways shapes and forms...

Josey should be tired too, due to her lack of sleep for the past two nights, and her unwillingness to take a good nap the past few days.

I know my husband is so tired and weary. Gone ALL day some days, just trying to finish up harvest.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining... I'm just in a weird spot right now, and have to try really hard sometimes to "look UP", look at the positive, and keep going :)

Wanted to share what keeps me going in these "dog days of parenting and farming". One of my favorite verses! Always a good one to turn to.

Matthew 11:28-30
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." 


We'll just keep on trucking! And, after seeing old pictures like this one... I wonder how I can even utter a word!

I am VERY thankful for modern farm equipment! What a blessing!

Family Thoughts and Family Fun

The past week has flown by! We have been busy, and will start to get more and more busy in the weeks to come.

Harvest is on it's way! We might start next week. I don't think I will see Casey for awhile. He's going to school full time and will be spending every extra second he has in the fields. I feel like we are holding our breath. There is a lot of excitement, expectation, and unanswered questions hanging in the air. We've been watching the grain markets and weather all through the past season, the roller-coaster of prices up and down, the weather from dry, to wet, or windy. It's a weird feeling to have SO much put into the fields, and all the outcome is mostly out of our control. We just have to be patient. It really is not in our hands, it's in God's. Thank goodness for that! Because I (we) would be a nervous wreck. Farming has certainly stretched our faith in many ways. This time of year is interesting for us! I know Casey and his Grandpa are just itching to get in the fields!

We spent Labor Day weekend in St. Louis, with Casey's Dad and his wife. It was nice to get away and have a break before the craziness of harvest starts. We went biking while we were there. The men went on the technical mountain trails, while us girls went on the paved route. Josey was happy to ride in her little bike trailer. She is so cute and tiny in there! We put her boppy pillow behind her to make it more comfortable with all the straps. She talked to herself and looked out her little windows the whole time. I must add, that all this happy baby bike-trailerness was a slow weight that creeped up on me! And, I was happy to accept Tina's offer to switch bikes halfway through. I felt very out of shape. Ha! There was also a white haired, mustached, elderly gentleman that passed us a few times, which added to me feeling more out of shape. We really enjoy biking, and have to find some local trails we can go on. It's a really fun family activity!

As summer fades into fall. We are looking forward to cooled of weather, a change of pace, harvest, the gorgeous colors of the trees, baking, and of course hunting season!

I am going to try to make it a point to capture as much as I can on camera!

Psalm 91

Psalm 91

Theme: God's protection in the midst of danger. God doesn't promise a world fee from danger, but he does promise his help whenever we face danger.

Author: Anonymos

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust."

Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare

and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of the night,

nor the arrow that flies by day,

nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

but it will not come near you.

You will only observe with your eyes 

and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling-

even the Lord, who is my refuge-

then no harm will befall you,

no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways;

they will lift you up in their hands,

so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;

you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him;

I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

He will call upon me, and I will answer him;

I will be with him in trouble,

I will deliver him and honor him.

With long life will I satisfy him

and show him my salvation."

-----------------------------------------------

The youngest of my family, Nicole and Lorelei, have been in Navy bootcamp a week today. I am so proud of them! It's amazing how God works, that they both got the job that they wanted, and got to go through bootcamp together. They signed up under the job mass communications. Nikki is going for photography, and Lorelei journalism or broadcasting. They have been on my mind so much. Both of the girls have said that this passage keeps rolling through their heads. I can't wait to see them graduate! Then they both will go to Maryland to school for 25 weeks. Another blessing, that Lorelei and Nikki can be together in school. We'll have to wait and see what's after that school... 

I am also excited that their bootcamp is in Northern Illinois! Even though I can't see them until they graduate, it's nice to know that they are close by. 

This passage means a lot to me personally. I read it almost every day while Casey was deployed in Afghanistan. 

As you read this, or go about your day. Please keep Nicole and Lorelei in your thoughts and prayers. Also, the rest of our military and their families.

Here are links to the girls' blogs. Lorelei's Blog-Click Here ...... Nicole's Blog-Click Here

Lead Me

I copy and pasted this from a lyric website. I heard/actually listened to this song for the first time this morning. 


WOW. So True!


I'm not posting this because I'm unhappy. Yes, some days are HARD and not what I "expected"... but I see this as the daily struggle, all the responsibility on my husbands shoulders... the cry for a leader in the home. A prayer somewhat similar that I've heard him pray, and together we continue to pray. 


Sanctus Real - “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone


Click here - Music Video

Watch it! Listen to it! :) Have a good day!

Encouragement

Psalm 37: 1-9

'Do not fret because of evil men

or be envious of those who do wrong;

for like the grass they will soon wither,

like green plants they will soon die away.

Trust in the Lord and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

Delight yourself in the Lord

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in him and he will do this:

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,

the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;

do not fret - it leads only to evil.

For evil men will be cut off,

but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.'

I found this after I looked up anger... I am so very passionate about my whole family, and love each and every one so much. I find comfort that God sees it all. I can imagine how passionate God is about us. I am thankful that this passage says to refrain from anger. If you read on in the passage it is so encouraging. 

And I thought I was having a bad day....

I couldn't sleep last night. I was tossing and turning, trying to figure out what I was mad at. I didn't want to go to bed angry... I was so fed up with myself and didn't know what it was. Was it me? Casey? Our marriage? Money? Loneliness? Am I just that tired? My relationship with God? ...Yes ..the last one. Where am I going or what am I doing with my life? I can't answer that all the time. And it really bothers me. On the side of my blog I wrote how I'm a Christian and realize over and over I can't do life on my own. This is one of those times I need to realize that again. God has a purpose for me.

I read this passage this morning, and I realized all the blessings I have, and was brought back to the Cross and what "it's all about". Cause I'm sick of caring about what the world tells me "it's all about".

(this is kind of long, but if you have time to check my blog, you can read this too. I want to share this)

Isaiah 52:13-15 through chapter 53
Passage title is The Suffering and Glory of the Servant (meaning Jesus)

"See, my servant will act wisely;

he will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted.

Just as there were many who appalled at him -

his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man

and his form marred beyond human likeness -

so will he sprinkle many nations,

and kings will shut their mouths because of him.

For what they were not told, they will see,

and what they have not heard, they will understand.

Who has believed our message

and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

He grew up before him like a tender shoot,

and like a root out of dry ground.

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,

nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men,

a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.

Like one from whom men hide their faces

he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities

and carried our sorrows,

yet we considered him stricken by God,

smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,

he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,

and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,

each of us has turned to his own way;

and the Lord has laid on him 

the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,

yet he did not open his mouth;

he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,

and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,

so he did not open his mouth.

By oppression and judgement he was taken away.

And who can speak of his descendants?

For he was cut off from the land of the living;

for the transgression of my people he was stricken.

He was assigned a grave with the wicked,

and with the rich in his death,

though he had done no violence,

nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the Lord's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,

and though the Lord makes his life a guilt offering,

he will see his offspring and prolong his days,

and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.

After the suffering of his soul,

he will see the light of life, and be satisfied;

by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,

and he will bear their iniquities.

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,

and he will divide the spoils with the strong,

because he poured out his life unto death,

and was numbered with the transgressors.

For he bore the sin of many,

and made intercession for the transgressors."

It's not about me. That's what it's about. 

Yes, I thought I was having a bad day.... well I was, but after seeing what is all in front of me, how can I? Why would someone do all that for me??? Why? I don't understand why God loves us.... or me, but he does, and has a PURPOSE for me.

So I'm going to live life for Him, and stop worrying about everyone and everything else. 

What's behind the name

Josey /j(o)-sey/ as a girls name is a variant of Josephine (hebrew), and the meaning of Josey is "Jehovah increases" or "God will add".

The name Josey had special meaning to me after losing my sister 6 1/2 years ago. I always wanted to name my first baby after her. I want my children to know about her and learn from her example. At a young age she was confident in herself, and unashamed of her love for Jesus. All the little marks in her Bible, poems, and art she made where little things left behind that I want to show Josey someday so she can know who her Tante Jessica was.

Jessica and me when we were little

I am very thankful that God has added to our family.

Josey's middle name Marie. Marie was Jessica's middle name. Casey's Grandma's name is Mary, and my Oma's name is Maria, so we were very happy to choose this middle name! There are more family members with this name to!

Josey Marie McCausland!

The "work week" of labor :)

Yes it's true. I joke that it takes a work week to have a McCausland baby. And yes, I can say it with a smile. :) I want to write an account of it more for myself, because the memory is already fading..

Labor started on December 12 around midnight. My sister Krista had put in a special request that the baby be born on her birthday the 13th, so I was excited that they could share when I got out of bed and looked at the clock. I walked around the dining room table and started counting/timing contractions, they weren't bad at all and not that close together.

Soon things started kicking in a bit more and I went to wake up my Mom around 2. My Mom was sooo excited and told me that her and my Dad had prayed before she came out of bed. I like that :) So I just kept walking around the dining room and would let Mom know when each contraction came and went. We called my midwife, Brande, around 3:30-4:00 I think because I was 5-7 minutes apart. Yay! So exciting! She told us to see how things went for around an hour to make sure it was real labor, and my Mom and I sat in the kitchen and chatted, drinking tea.

Casey got up for work around 5:00, I hadn't told him I was in labor yet, he was SO excited! He started walking around all antsy, tapping his legs, and decided he wanted to watch hard rock music videos right next to me to calm himself down. haha! Which he had to turn off VERY quickly after that. I think he just walked around antsy for awhile again, and decided to watch tv in the other room.

Brande came to the house soon after. Around 7 or 8 I think. (I stopped looking at the clock after Casey got up, because I didn't want to expect to much, or feel rushed) Labor really kicked in within the next few hours to where I wasn't walking or talking to much at all during a contraction. I had started to get back labor as well. Brande's helper/nurse came within a few hours after that, Malory, she was also a doula, and knew exactly where to put counter-pressure on my back to relieve some of the pain. LAAA! I loved that. So most contractions after that, I would ask for someone to press on my back. The day went on for a bit and I felt like we were making good headway, but by the afternoon one time when they checked me Josey had turned to the side, and I had gone backwards in labor. From a 7 back to 5 I think.

After that I pretty much lost sense of time... so there's not much detail in the story here. So the rest of the day was spent rocking back and forth on my hands and knees, walking stairs, and on the labor ball to try to turn her. I would make progress and then go back, then make progress and go back again. Josey was moving her head all over sideways, straight, sunnyside-up ...everything. That was that evening into early the next morning. I could see everyone start to get a bit concerned, and then really excited each time we went back and forth in labor. I was just concentrating, and really focused on each contraction. Praying... :) I knew I was close, so I didn't get upset or desperate. Josey's heartbeat was really consistent and there were no signs of distress at all.

Early Tuesday morning I was checked, had retracted again, and Josey's eye was open looking out. She had moved herself to coming face first! After that Brande called the OB that she works with, and we made preparations to go to the hospital. The fact the I had gone back in labor again, Josey's position, and how long it was taking were why we went. I had told everyone that I was DONE as well. I wasn't sad about not having the baby at home. Something we decided very soon after we found out we were pregnant... and something I have always wanted. Everyone was rushing around to leave, grabbing everything and packing the cars up. Then I got in the car (BLEH)... and the car wouldn't start! So we started packing everything into Malory's car, and realized she had a flat tire! Casey and Dad raced up to the farm filled the tire, and brought it back so I could get in (BLEH again, just imagine doing that in hard labor folks) The hospital was 40 minutes away and by the time I put my seatbelt on (BLEH) we couldn't get there soon enough! I was in the front seat and it was snowy/icy out. One side note during our drive there I made sure to remember the car was a Pontiac Vibe so that I would never ride in one again.

Once we got to the hospital Casey's family was there. I remember being wheeled in, was happy to see them, but told everyone that I wasn't going to talk :) Went through the check-in stuff which felt like forever. They asked if I wanted an epidural and I said "This totally goes against my grain, but YEEES!!" Then we were off to the delivery room. I was supposed to be in there for just a little bit while they were getting a C-Section prepared. I had to wait for the epidural because there were 2 ladies we had to wait for. During that time they gave me medicine through the IV to hold me over. After a little bit the nurse looked at me and said "HEY! Was that pushing?? You can't push yet!" I didn't really know that I was pushing, but breathed through the next few. The nurse had to leave for a few minutes and told Casey and my Mom if I pushed to call her. She was gone for just a bit and Casey had to call her back in! I was checked again and Josey's head was straight and everything was ready to go! After that the crew was rushed in so we could have the baby! After that I HAD the baby... no extra explanation needed. Just a few comments I remember... one of the nurses had said "Ooooh your doing so good! That epidural feels good huh?" I never got one... Josey came before the medicine man :) . I remember my Mom one time saying "OOOH TARA!" because Josey was almost here, shortly after that Casey said "Is it supposed to look like that?" kinda quiet next to me. haha!

When Josey was born and they laid her on me announcing "IT'S A GIRL!!!" That was the best thing! I loved waiting for that moment! She was so calm and just looked at me kinda quiet like "Hi!" We were sooo happy! The relief that it was over! OOOH SO HAPPY!!! I didn't care about what it took to get her here, and still don't. If every labor for every child was 38 hours, with 26 hours of hard labor, I would do that, and more for each of my children!

What a blessing! What an answer to prayer!

First Family Picture

My Cup Runneth Over

Life has changed in so many ways since I last posted.

My daughter Josey Marie McCausland is here now! Born December 14, 8lb 4oz, 20.5 in.
Josey turned 5 weeks old yesterday, and I can't express what a blessing she is.

One day old

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind! Lots of family, Christmas, diapers, laundry, joy, and tears! I love watching Casey be a Dad! He is so good with her and is so proud!

God has been doing so much in our lives. There has been so much prayer and answer to prayer. I am amazed at life, and how God constantly is there, and cares about me and my family. Why am I surprised? Maybe humbled is a better word. There is so much that I want to write, but now that I'm sitting here I have no idea what to say. I'm overwhelmed... in a good way! That's why the title of this post is my cup runneth over. Cause it's FULL....OVERFLOWING! :) 

Looks like I'll have to make a few posts about everything....

Josey is hungry now anyways :)

Baby Update :)

Baby McCausland

This is an ultrasound picture from our appointment around 2 1/2 weeks ago. It's the babies profile if you're trying to figure out what it is. I'm so proud! I loved being able to see Casey watch the baby on the monitor to. He's going to be such a good Dad! The ultrasound technician was so great, she made the appointment really fun. Baby measured really well, and weighed in 2 ounces above average. So he/she is eating well! And yes, that's right, we aren't finding out the sex of the baby. GASP! I personally find it soo exciting not knowing. To each their own in that area. Pregnancy isn't always the funnest thing, but it's so unexplainably great at the same time! Just thinking about all the things happening inside you, and what the baby is going to be like. Looking at your body in absolute shock every few days :) and running to show your husband, who yes is amazed, but he tells you 'YES there's your belly I see it every day, hasn't changed that much since yesterday.' haha. But I still think it's my job to run to him and ask him to stare at it all the time. I am enjoying pregnancy! All of it!

We have just over 3 months left until our due date, and I can't wait to meet this little one. Children are such a blessing, and life is so so precious. I love reading Psalm 139:13-16

"For you created my inmost being:

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to me."

How amazing is that?? Gives me so much to think about! Well I think that's a good note to end on for my thoughts today....