Another Year

Another year has gone by with out you...

My family tragically lost my sister Jessica, in a car accident, 7 years ago tomorrow. She was 16 years old. I don't really know what to say or write about it. I've wanted to off and on. It's so painful at times...

I know that the only thing that I have left to cling on to, when it's all said and done, is the hope that we have in Christ.

Since I've moved from home it's kind of hard not to be around family this time of year. It's like you feel the wave of grief coming.

I've been back and forth and seen family and home a number of times. When I went home a few months ago, I didn't realize how much my family's house would make me miss Jessica. Our old room, bathroom and closets we shared, family pictures, dolls she had, pictures she painted, being at the dining table and in the kitchen. It's weird because when everyone's together I still look for her. I think everyone does.

Most of the time it's not THE day of July 14, but the months, weeks, and random days that lead up to it will be hard. Or after. I love to talk about her and giggle, laugh and reminisce. Some days I can't. The grief is still there, I think you must just get used to it. There is no "getting over it" either.

My sisters and I recently made a memory book to put all of her pictures, drawings and memories in and I wanted to share a few things we put in there....

This is about me Jessica Marie

I do not like school very much

If it was not mandatory 

Than I don't think I would be here

I would be working

Or probably married and on with my life

I love children and I want a lot of them

Six to twelve,

Some people think that's wild

But that is me

I want a house in the mountains,

I want my husband to be a Christian first of all

But also strong and loving

My family is not like many others

Its almost secluded from the world

It's more like a team with coaches (Mom and Papa)

It is love, and joy

Along with everyone's dreams put together

Most importantly our family is God's not our own.

I am out to change the world

How you might ask? One person at a time.

What I mean is that I am pursuing to be a missionary.

I am going to Africa

I am going to hold and care for children

Who don't have families

And I will whisper in their ear a secret

One so powerful it will change their lives and eternities 

I will tell them about their creator, saviour, and their heavenly father. Jesus. 

I believe that is my intent in life

I also believe that God has sent every person on this earth

To fulfill a purpose

It might not be big or small

But it will be meaningful

-Jessica

Same poem here, in her funeral bulletin

Freshman year tennis team picture

At a swim meet, determined to learn to play guitar

Jessica Marie Vander Griend, you are still so dearly missed and loved. Look forward to one day in Heaven, when we meet again.